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Archive for September, 2013

This blog [I am My Mother’s Keeper – A Job I Cherish!] reminds me, somewhat, of my mother’s last few years.

Momma about 1940

Momma about 1940

Momma about 1955

Momma about 1955

Momma (left) in Nursing Home about 1977

Momma (left) in Nursing Home about 1977


It certainly is a cautionary tale for all relatives, friends and caregivers. It can help prepare for what is, all to frequently, the future of their lives. No matter how many siblings or children there are, or how deeply they are (or are not) involved, care-giving usually devolves down to one person or one family group.

With the recent admissions that there really are to be “Death Panels” related to Obamacare, relatives and friends more and more will have to be assuming care-giving to the elderly and chronically ill. This is a step backward from our current system, but actually could be a step forward from the impersonal care currently given. It retreats to the days in which family and friends were closer and more involved with the elderly and chronically ill, but could be a step forward to more hands-and-hearts-on care. Instead of living one’s last days among a group of strangers, one can live at home with loved ones close by. There would seem to be more opportunity for saying all the things that need saying before someone dies.

Yes, there is the problem of “too much burden” on the home care-givers. Smaller families and individuals will be forced to rely on friends, acquaintances, Churches and volunteer groups. Is this bad? The transition to more family care-giving will be UGLY! But the final “product” has the potential to be very good.

“Author and organizational consultant William Bridges developed a model that explains the process of transition. This three stage model focuses on the adjustment that people make when they are going through a transition. Bridges states that “transition starts with an ending and ends with a beginning.” [Bridges’ Transition Theory in imjoeboe blog].

Bridges' Transition Theory

Bridges’ Transition Theory

It’s that “neutral zone” that can be UGLY! Change is always difficult. Aging and chronic illness are difficult – and can be UGLY! Surmounting those difficulties and the ugliness can become something to look back on with pride – after the grief! Grief is something I will deal with in another post.

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